Broken Doll

I am not sure that am I too naive to still believe in fairy tale
A lots of girls out there don't believe it 
They just simply get along with any guys that they think they love 
Maybe there is a true love among them
But who knows

I think I don't really know what means of love
I always believe in the fairy tales that I told myself
I  told myself that angel already assign the true love for me 
Just he is not here for me yet
Or maybe he is here but I never realize that or we both never realize that
One day maybe 
One day someone will come to me with a key
A key that open a broken heart

A lots of guys told me that they loved me 
But I am sorry that I always judge that 
Do they really love me?
9 out of 10 are asking something from me
I always said yes to them without failed
Maybe I am too scared of being left alone
I always hope that one day
Maybe one day someone will fill up the empty part of me

I am not desperate to find a lover or a  husband
Sometimes I just don't know who I can talk to when I got a problem
I got no shoulder for me to lay down and cry on it
I do not have another hand that hold me on the arms and tell me that 
"Everything is gonna be alright" 

No matter how strong I am
I am still a girl
I always think that a girl and a guy create a prefect match
That's why there is a gentlemen and a lady assist in the world
That 's why there is a word of "male" and "female"

Is okay, I can wait
I can wait until I been found
I can use up my entire life to be found

Case No.1:

- There is a guy that 3 years older than me, we went to the same secondary school, we used to text each others every moment, we used to talked on the over the phone for a very long long hours. I knew that we are in love. But when my friends asked me are you and XXX get in to a relationship? I denied that because the guy never told me that he love me or he like me. We are just flirting like that. But when his friend asked him are he in love with me? He never admit that too. But when I talked to another guy he getting jealous, he mad at me. At the end, I found out the reason that why he don't want to admit that he loved me. Because it was so hard for him to admit that he was in loved with a fat girl. 

Case No.2:

- I always felt lucky that I met him. he is one year younger than me. We went to the same secondary school as well. He was madly in love with a girl for few years I guess. But the girl rejected him and he was keep waiting. One night, we been to a party together, we had a long chat over the public phone next to each others, yea i knew it was silly we talked to each others using  a public phone in fact we are just beside each others. That night we started to text, we started to talked over the phone and lastly we are in love. Maybe he is in love with me. That's his first love and I guess so do I because he is the person that I gave my first kiss. He was proudly introduce me to his friend, told them that I am his girlfriend. But his brother was mad at him, his brother think that he deserve better. I myself I don't have confident on me, I felt that I embarrassing him. Some of his friend got a hot chick but he got a fat meat. Slowly I act like I don't care about him anymore. I pretend that I don't love him. Oh yea, his cousin was my best friend, and the girl thought that I fall in love with the guy is because of money. I just could not tell the guy that I wanna broke up with him, what I do is I draw a line with him. I rejected all the dates with him, I talked to another guys and I use the same ringtone with others guys. Just to make him dumb me. Finally, he text me and said that he felt we both are not suitable to each others. Now he got a pretty nice girl friend and we are still friend. He will never ever know this and he should not saw this post.