Love with pain

Wonder if our love is real

I cried all the time when you called me

I cried because I missed you

But you seem never realize it when i am sobing 

Or maybe you just don't give a damn? 

Oh well i am ready to move on now

Start a new life without you...  

I guess...

Couldn't let go

I was sad yesterday night

I wish you were here with me

I hope that you could pet on my head 

and tell me that everything will be alright

Unfortunately you are just so far away

I will never get a shoulder to cry on

I will never feel the touch on me 

How may times i have told myself 

to let go of you

But you always called up when I wanted to do so

Your voice had overcome everything

Include the idea of us seperating 

What should I do to stop loving you?

不捨得離開

你對她依依不捨的愛

對我造成了深深的傷害

也對

美好的結局

怎麼可能會發生在我身上呢？

在無數次的談話中

我都能聽出你對她的不捨

哪為何又要選擇和我在一起呢？

我好難過

聽你說著妳和她的往事

我哭了

你卻沒有聽出來

可見我在你心中的地位

是多麼的渺小

你對我不曾浪漫

有男生約我

你從來不會吃醋

你說這是因為你信任我

你真的在乎我嗎？

我告訴你我和我妹吵架了

我希望你會安慰我

鼓勵我

但你並沒有

或許我真的的應該下定決心

鼓起勇氣的離開。。。

Don't tell me that you love me

I asked a radom question: 

"What if one day I am gone?"

I was hoping you to said that you will find me

You will keep me with you or whatever sweet words that make me happy 

Guess what?

You said you will respect my decision

You will understand me 

You will not judge me

If you truly love someone 

How would you said that?

How would you let go of the love of your life?

Why are you so stingy with your love?

I cried when you told me about your ex

I can felt that how much she meant to you

How hurt you are when she leave you

How you miss the old time memories

When you are telling me all that 

My heart is broken to pieces 

Apparantely our current relationship are not strong enough to beat your past 

I am living in a bubble dreams

One touch on the bubble and it's gone

All the dreams and future that I have created on my head will gone 

Don't said that you love me if you are not sure about us...

Boom!

Received a happy news that one of my close friend are getting married this October! 

I am so excited and happy for her

In the meantime, it forced me to think about my destiny as well

This is the first time I felt the power of boom! 

Your girl

40 minutes 18 seconds 

Yes I time on our called again

Today we had our longest conversation ever

-10/08/2015-

LDR

Read someone post mentioning that

"Not to find a man that make you cried" 

I cried most of the time when we ended our phone calls

You laughed at me that 

I am always timing on our conversation

I know that you are trying hard to get things better 

I know that you have tried your very best to call me while you can

It's kind of sad that you did not inclide me on your future plan

When I am asking why do you need to work two jobs and get yourself so tired 

You was telling me your plan and none of it is about us. 

About our future

I am telling you the street race and you was saying that it's dangerous 

I was hoping you to stop me from going 

But

You are just you

You will never make a decision on behalf of me which i hope you will...

Stop asking me how was my day

Because the best thing throughout the day is when I get to talked to you...

Are you the one?

I had a fight with my sisters and 

I am so sad 

I texted you about my feelings and

You was asking me what happen

You din't even realize my voice are changing

When I told you that i will be fine 

You din't even asked for more

Okay, wish you have a good night

That's it

How I wish you could realize that I am not okay

How I wish you could keep asking me 

What's going on and say something more

But you didn't 

I tried to stand in your shoe

Maybe you are busy working 

Not convenience for a talk 

Maybe you are not at the right place to call me

With your wife maybe?

With kids maybe? 

Can't afford another heart break

I have planed to give up on us

I am planning to find a right time to tell you that

Like you can read my mind 

That night you send me a song

Asked me to listen to the lyrics

"Swear it again" by my favorite boys band - Westlife

I started to cry

Our LDR is just so fragile 

I don't know you well and just fall for you

You have been so positive with our LDR

You trust that one day our dreams will come true and 

We could finally be with each others 

But i always have doubt on our relationship

I am afraid that you are married and with some kids

Even you have told me a thousand times that you don't 

I can't take another heart break

I miss you more and more everyday

I love you deeper everyday

I am afraid that one day I just can't handle the pain if you are leaving me

I always demand to see your face because I can't belive that all of these are real

My bad

I don't have a confident on us

Love me harder

I am falling for you

I cried all the time when we are about to end our conversation so that you could go to work

You pampered me and tolerate me

Never force me to do something that I don't feel like doing

You laughed when I said something funny

That's the moment when I felt I am special and in love

Although I can't get to hide in your arms when I am down 

Although I unable to feel you in person 

Hope one day we could make it together

I am happy when everythime we talked about future and you include me in your plan

It sounds like things gonna work out soon 

Meantime I feel insecure as well

How many times I have falled for a wrong guys?

Are you really single?

Do you have a kids with you?

 

What I know about you is your full name (which I am not sure is that true) 

Or

Your citizenship.

Best of luck Ade

Hope everything will be fine

Since past few weeks

I feel something wrong with my tummy

I don't feel comfortable

But I got no courage to go for a check up

What if something went wrong?

What if it's a big deal?

Will I die? 

Do I need to operate? 

Full of question marks and I can't sleep well at night

I will go on this Saturday

I don't want to be a chicken anymore

Hope everything is fine and I am over thinking...

2015

Time flies and here come 2015

Gonna make it short and share my reaolutions just like what I used to do on the first day of the year:

#Save money

#Diet

#Own a house

#Travel

#Control my temper

#No more overtime at work

#Not borrowing money from peoples

#Be kind and understanding